The Janu-Febs are coming! Or is it something else?
By Audrianna J. Gurr, MS, NCC
As a mental health therapist and volunteer at Baby Blues Connection, I love to talk with
women who are embarking on their new identity as moms in addition to all that they already are (woman, friend, sister, wife, painter, writer, teacher etc.) With my work, I also hear from a lot of moms who are scared, self described as ‘freaked out’ or angry at their new situation. There is some stigma in our society that moms aren’t ‘allowed’ to be unhappy, unsure or un-enthused. I want to break this stigma and get the conversation going.
So, you are a new mom or getting ready to be one. Everyone is excited around you, but you feel, well, not so caught up in it all. In fact, you feel anxious, irritated, sad and even angry. You don’t want to tell anyone because you don’t want anyone to think of you as a ‘bad’ mommy. Sound familiar?
No, you are not a bad mommy, you may be experiencing a perinatal mood disorder. Or to put it more plainly, the ‘Baby Blues” that are not going away. It is normal to feel sad and nervous after the birth of a baby. At no other time do you have more hormones raging through your body than in pregnancy and postpartum periods. 80% of moms feel this way and with rest, food, support and time it will subside.
However, one in five moms experience more lasting depression or anxiety. These are not just moods but a variety of symptoms.
What are some symptoms of Depression and Anxiety?
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Sadness, anger, exhaustion, nervousness, feeling out of control or overwhelmed
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Difficulty sleeping or eating
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Fears or scary thoughts that don’t go away
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Feeling anxious or insecure, and nervous about being alone
We have heard a lot about postpartum depression, but not everyone knows that many moms experience anxiety, have obsessive compulsions (e.g. checking the baby) or relive the trauma of a difficult or disappointing birth experience. These mood disorders are not just about being sad. Yes, we are ‘supposed’ to be tired and hungry, and it is common to feel disoriented after the birth of a child, since nothing seems the same, but that doesn’t mean it should affect your mental health for weeks or months.
What should I do if I think I have Pregnancy or Postpartum Depression or Anxiety?
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Call your medical provider
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Contact Baby Blues Connection at 503.797.2843 or www.babybluesconnection.org for support, information, and resources.
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Ask friends or family for help so you can take breaks
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Tell someone how you feel and find someone you trust that can help you
Yes, you say, I feel unwell. What now? What will help me feel better?
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Support and reliable information about getting through depression and anxiety
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Good nutrition: avoid sugar, caffeine, and alcohol, protein at every snack and meal
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Rest
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Medicine or other treatment from a trusted healthcare provider
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Fresh air and movement
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Talking to other women and families who have been through it and recovered
Not sure if you have it? You ask, AM I AT RISK?
Check the statements that are true for you:
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It’s hard for me to ask for help. I usually take care of myself.
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Before my periods, I usually get sad, angry, or very cranky.
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I’ve been depressed or anxious in the past.
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I have been depressed or anxious when I’m pregnant.
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My mother, sister, or aunt was depressed or very nervous after her baby was born.
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Sometimes I don’t need sleep, have lots of ideas, and it’s hard to slow down.
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My family is far away and I feel lonely.
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I don’t have many friends nearby that I can rely on.
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I am pregnant right now and I don’t feel happy about it.
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I don’t have the money, food, or housing that I need.
If you checked two or more statements you are at risk. This doesn’t mean you will experience a perinatal mood disorder, but you may be more likely to experience it. In the Portland Metro area there is a lot of available help that is low cost or free. Right here at Zenana Spa and Wellness Center, there is a group of moms that come together to support each other as they process these experiences. The group is run by other moms who have been there and recovered. If interested in this group or other resources contact Baby Blues Connection and talk to a volunteer.
So, now we have talked about it. Pandora’s box is open. Feeling overwhelmed? Take a breath and ask for help.
The three most important things to remember are:
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You are not alone
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It is not your fault AND
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You will get better
Audrianna J. Gurr is a mental health therapist who specializes in perinatal mood disorders, new parenting relationships, grief/loss and life changes. She has a private practice in downtown Portland. She can be reached at 503-475-4005 or at www.gurrcounseling.com.
